yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
