The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
