I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
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