OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
