no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
