We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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