also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
