...so i touched it.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
