One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
