saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
