"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize