Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
this beer tastes like vomit already
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
