all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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