I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
