This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
