matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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