Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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