my sisters under your porch take her home
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
