Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
