dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
And then he peed in my hair
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