I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
