i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
