32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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