i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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