should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
