What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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