I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
