nut hugger
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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