Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
