so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
