Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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