You're completely useless in the revolution.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
