talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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