I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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