I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
