i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
