im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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