his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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