But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
