I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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