Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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