Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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