I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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