The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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