I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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