I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
