I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
