thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
