Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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