Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
